Some years ago, I had started a new job and was just three months in. 

It was a typical Wednesday morning, the kind where I was running late for work, tripping over my shoes, and battling the never-ending pile of emails in my inbox. I got to the office and was in the middle of an intense tea spill disaster when my boss, who somehow had a knack for impeccable timing, walked by and said, "We've got an important meeting in an hour. Be prepared." 

My heart skipped a beat. Important meeting? Prepared? Panic mode set in as I scrambled to gather my scattered thoughts and papers. A part of me immediately dived into frantic anger, this was one of the many reasons I was planning my exit from this job. I hated impromptu meetings. I still do. You see, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Okay, maybe more than a bit. I had always prided myself on being the person who had it all together, never making mistakes, and always acing the tasks handed to me. But this time, I felt like I was in way over my head.

As I rushed into the meeting room, I couldn't help but notice how composed and put-together everyone else seemed. Polished presentations, crisp notes, and smiles? Was I the only one who didn't get the memo early enough? After speaking briefly with a few, I somehow caught wind of what the meeting was about. Painfully, it was one of those meetings where everyone had to speak. There I was, frantically trying to piece together a coherent piece on my laptop, complete with the occasional typo and missing data. My inner critic had a field day, tearing apart my confidence one self-deprecating thought at a time.

The meeting began, and others contributed. I stumbled through my thoughts, my voice wavering and my palms sweating. I felt like I was under a microscope, with every flaw and imperfection magnified for all to see, which sent my carefully constructed narrative into a tailspin.

But here's the kicker, instead of the expected ridicule and judgement, the room felt light. I looked up for what felt like the quickest second and noticed my boss signal with his hands.

"Need a minute, Tina?"

"um yeah one-minute please", I responded.

"You got it", he said with a smile.

And no, I was not his biggest fan but in that moment I was grateful for the minute.

Thankfully I had a relatively "okay" comeback once I had some seconds to collect myself. However, that experience ruined my whole week.

In retrospect, I had felt my comeback was weak, my points could have been better, the tone of my voice could have been smoother etc. I was going down the twisted rabbit hole. I hated being in imperfect situations. I hated not having it all together. I hated feeling like the object of silent ridicule. I rarely had a smooth comeback from anything I considered embarrasing. I hated feeling like I was not in control of my work, so here I was, letting this eat me up for days. I would remember the experience and cringe ever so tightly.

Then a friend paid me a visit and I narrated my ordeal from the last few days.

She looked at me and went - "I know you are a bit of a perfectionist and you can think up a million different ways that your contribution could have been better but hey, there's no such thing as perfection. Just accept that you played your part the best way that you could have, given the circumstances".

I thought about those words for a few days and arrived at the quote "perfection is a trick of the mind". It does not exist. 

That's truly when I came to accept that I had been striving for an unattainable ideal of perfection, and in doing so, I had been missing out on the beauty of being human. Imperfections, mistakes, and failures are what make us relatable and real.

So, what's the moral of this story, you ask? It's simple: embrace your imperfections. Don't let the fear of making mistakes or not measuring up to some impossible standard hold you back. Life is messy, and that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay – it's beautiful.

I've learned to be kinder to myself, to laugh at my blunders, and to see them as opportunities for growth.

Sometimes, the urge to be perfectionistic still creeps up, but for the most part, I don't let it. It's not easy, I have to say but it's definitely worth it. I've realized that the pursuit of perfection is a never-ending race that leads to burnout and dissatisfaction. True fulfillment comes from accepting who you are, flaws and all, and striving to be the best version of yourself, one imperfect step at a time.

Life is too short to waste it striving for an unattainable ideal. Embrace the messiness, learn from your mistakes, and savor every imperfect moment along the way. You'll be amazed at the beauty that unfolds when you do.

Keep embracing those imperfections and living your beautifully imperfect life!